Joy

You know my thankfulness lists? I want to add joyful lists to that. And here will be my first.

The joys in this moment of mine are as follows:

The breezes coming from the open doorways flanking my table (I'm at an adorable coffeehouse)
The texture and character of the art in this corner right in front of me
The peaceful friendliness of this place, of the people who work here and are lounging here- I can learn from them
The peace I feel with my recently tumultuous thoughts right now
The cool richness of my soy latte
The delight in finding my potentially perfect tattoos

Robin

Crazy Place

So I read an article, interestingly enough in a Runners World magazine (which just arrived via mail, I had somehow forgot I already began subscribing to it a few weeks ago and bought it recently) Athletic themed magazines are not the kind of venue I expect to read articles that speak to my more reflective side. The article was entitled "A Change of Course" by John Bingham. The reason this article spoke to me is that I feel it is the exact kind of lessons I have recently been learning in my own life, and it vocalized a feeling I have had building but haven't yet been able to put a finger on. basically he writes about a man he meets on a boat ride to a marathon in Antarctica (hard core crazyness I know!). The spirit of this man as they begin chatting about life and experiences including serving in Vietnam and the tumultuous 60's , impresses upon this writer as a strong stable character, and like his opening words describe "a person... you just know...has a life lesson to share" . Well this guy ends up falling on a melting glacier they run across and in the race decides to instead only do the half rather than the full marathon. The Vets easygoing acceptance of this "failure" to accomplish exactly what he had set out to do had a great impression upon the Author. Especially since hard core runners can be the hardest on themselves for failures to meet race time goals. He then talks about how when we set goals and make plans for ourselves we often become devastated and self-loathing when we don't meet our standards set for ourselves. But like he writes "A day is just a day...Its is our selfishness, out self-centeredness that creates the disappointments that we too often let define us." I feel this spoke so clearly to me about the changes I have been trying to make in my own life. The accomplishments I have been working towards. It has been a habit in so many (f0rtunately not all) faucets in my life to set goals, some times unattainable almost, and then when I begin to slip, to fail to meet those posts along the way, I become discouraged, self depreciating, and throw in the towel on the whole affair. Lately I have managed to be better about celebrating little goals. Small accomplishments, and as a result have actually seen results in areas of my life that I have battled for years. I don't think that this is saying in anyway that lofty goals are a bad thing, or that one should always brush aside failures as not being ones own fault. To become lazy or complacent, and no longer strive for greater success is not my empahsis here, just that following that adage "dust your self off and keep going" is more valuable perhaps than I realized. And the idea that each day is "just a day" can be invaluable through life, which undoubtedly have many bad days to come.

Things I am Thankful for

Robin I love such lists. They are reminders to ourselves of the beauty in life. So I wanted to follow your lead :)

*Lavender: because to me its the color or peace and the scent of rest
*The trees outside my bedroom window: because it reminds me of a forest and i can imagine that I live on the cusp of God's wilderness
*The foothills so near my apartment: because the beat of my feet falling on the trails as I run, and the hills that make my legs burn and my breath come short and hard, make me feel strong and vital and connected to the earth around me, and the wildflowers and the painted hills and panorama of the city of trees that I see when I make it to the top of that hill remind me why I love this natural earth and so badly wish to make an impact in protecting it
*Language: because words can paint images an tell stories far better than pictures

Awake

Disclaimer: I am not great writer of poetry or beautiful prose. So don't mind my feeble attempts at either one :)

Awake

Some mornings I wake up
fully awake
aware, and in the moment
alive, I feel, I breathe, I notice
feel the moment
experience the movement of time

Some mornings I wake sleeping
following, moving
mindlessly autopilot through life
today the same as yesterday

Thank God for when I'm awake
Thank God for when I'm aware
then I am ALIVE
then I hurt,
I feel,
I fear,
I care,
I know.

It is more painful, more frightening
when one is awake,
when one is aware,
one can't pretend all is well
When your eyes are open you have to see

I pray that everyday I can awake

The pain of awareness is far outweighed by the beauty of each moment
without awareness one can not feel the moment
taste the breeze on your skin
feel the sounds of a birds song
hear the sweetness of a bite of an apple
understand and know the energies of life that surround us
that pulse of life, the same universal pulse that runs through all living,
that connects all life.

I pray that everyday I can awake

~Michelle Travis June 19th 2008

Thankfulness List.

I like to do these lists, and I haven't done one for a long time.

Things I'm thankful for:
~I'm developing healthy eating habits that will probably keep me disease free.
~I'm starting to play tennis more, and the feel of moving my body around so actively is so fun!!
~I just bought the game Cranium, and it's going to be so fun to play....
~BBC murder mystery DVDs are like atmosphere in a bottle, and since I love atmosphere, and since I have some, this is a good thing for me. (I'm watching one right now.)
~I learned how to plant a squash plant this week.
~The sun felt nice on my heavily sun-blocked skin today, and it will again tomorrow.

Rape is torture and I hate it.

I was reading an article in the NYT about how maybe the UN will actually address some of the mass rape going on in Darfur and and these different areas, and how hopefully some action will be taken, because apparently it hasn't so far. Anyway, it got me thinking, and the thought of any being being tortured (as my friends should know from my eating habits), gets me really riled up. And rape, especially when it's done with a pointed object as it sometimes happens, is definitely in that repugnant torture camp.

Then I ended up on this website, and I like the looks of this group: Heal Africa.

Any thoughts on ways to help?

This idea isn't specifically related to Heal Africa, but maybe each month we could choose a different group and try and do a small fundraiser for them, in our separate cities? Another idea that I had for a new year's goal (which I've only done one month out of these last six, bad me) is to individually pick a different cause each month and then devote either time or make a small donation to it. Help in a small way, and also keep myself thinking about and focused on different needs. Gosh, that was a nice idea. Too bad I flaked out on it. Not too big of a surprise. :) But maybe, as a group, we can encourage each other in that. Maybe in the individual goal, and it anyone wants to run with it and do some fundraising, go them. But I suppose getting in a small individual habit would be the logical best step. Thoughts?

Robin

Here's some cuteness. :)

Baby Obama Rocks the Tricycle.

Coffee Cake

Leave it to me to bring in food right away. But to me, this is truly beautiful: a recipe transcribed by my Opa, my mother's father.

 

I think part of what is so beautiful to me about this is that I never knew my Opa - he died 12 years before I was born. My dad has these old super-8 film reels of Opa, playing with my brothers when they were small. There's no audio, so I don't even know what he sounded like when he spoke or laughed. But he liked to make things - this desk my laptop sits on now was made by Opa, in fact. And this German Cream Coffee Cake was one of his culinary specialties.

And look at that incredible handwriting!

In the next week I'm going to make this cake. It will be the first time I've tried it, and I'm sure that as I make it, I'll be imagining Opa and how he prepared it. I'll bet he had no idea that 50-some years after transcribing this recipe, there would be a granddaughter thinking of him as she bakes in a small, cramped kitchen, looking at the words he wrote.

(I'll let you know how it turns out.)

Summer.

What beauty can I offer right now?

One thing I always come back to that I need in my life is beauty. Today I realized I wanted more poetry in it as well. So after much thought, over-analyzing, and brutal elimination, I ended up buying a book of poetry about the four seasons. So this moment, I take the easy way to offer something beautiful.

Trees

To be a giant and keep quiet about it,
To stay in one's own place;
To stand for the constant presence of process
And always seem the same;
To be steady as a rock and always trembling,
Having the hard appearance of death
With the soft, fluent nature of growth,
One's Being deceptively armored,
One's Becoming deceptively vulnerable;
To be so tough, and take the light so well,
Freely providing forbidden knowledge
Of so many things about which heaven and earth
For which we should otherwise have no word-
Poems or people are rarely so lovely,
And even when they have great qualities
They tend to tell you rather than exemplify
What they believe themselves to be about,
While from the moving silence of trees,
Whether in storm or calm, in leaf and naked,
Night or day, we draw conclusions of our own,
Sustaining and unnoticed as our breath,
And perilous also- though there has never been
A critical tree- about the nature of things.

Howard Nemerov